In the Back of My Mind, Part 4

“Are you okay?” a voice asked me.

I looked up from my slump against the giant door and saw a beautiful, young woman leaning over me. Her long, chestnut hair fell from her shoulders and she brushed it back behind her ear with an elegant motion.

“I’m fine,” I said, quickly getting to my feet.

“So am I,” he said. He didn’t get up.

I looked anywhere else but into the woman’s eyes and found this room to be brightly lit with none of the ghastly black smoke to be seen. Thankfully, this room seemed to be unaffected.

“You’re so strong to have closed that door,” she said.

“…Thank you,” I answered, awkwardly.

She looked me up and down and smiled. “You’ve changed so much since then.”

I blinked and looked at her face, thinking back to a time long ago. “It’s you,” I said. “We were in the same class in high school.”

“So you do remember me,” she said, smiling. Her smile suddenly disappeared and she looked down. “I didn’t think you liked me.”

“I did,” I said. “I did like you.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” she asked. “I was waiting for you.”

I sighed in disappointment. “I was afraid…”

“What about me?” Another woman appeared from behind the first. Her dark skin glowed warmly in the golden light of Hope.

I recognized her as well and stammered a response but she spoke again.

“Why didn’t you put your arms around me that night I leaned on you?”

“I’m sorry, I…” My words wouldn’t come out.

A third woman appeared, looking up at me with her big, beautiful eyes. “What about me?” she asked. “Why didn’t you hold me when I hugged you? Why didn’t you say you’d still take me? Why did you push me away?”

They pressed in on me, and even more women aside from them, and pulled me this way and that. I had lost sight of my companion, I was struggling to stay on my feet, and Hope was slipping through my fingers. Alas I fell, and Hope went rolling across the floor; it stopped at the feet of a certain woman.

She knelt down and picked it up. “Stop this!” she shouted.

All the other women froze and looked at her.

“Let me through,” she said. She approached the mob and they parted on either side, allowing her in.

Step by step she made her way toward me until she stood over me, hand outstretched. I took a moment to collect myself, as I was in an embarrassing state, and took her offer. The other women drifted away and left us standing there alone.

“Thank you,” I said, still holding her hand.

“You’re welcome.” She smiled and offered me Hope.

As I reached out to take it I looked into her eyes and, all at once, I knew her. As I stared into the light of Hope reflected in those pale blue eyes she became everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever needed. Entranced, my hands fell back to my sides.

“Take it,” I said. “And let me stay here with you.”

She looked at me, flattered, but shook her head. “I cannot. And you cannot.”

“Take it,” I said again. “And let me stay here with you.”

“I cannot. And you cannot.”