Inadequacy begets Fear,
Fear manifests as Pride,
Pride perpetuates Inadequacy.
These are the pillars,
That form my cage.
Each is equally stout,
And equally rooted.
Held fast by hooks and screws,
With wires running from each to the others,
Forming a web that strangles me.
With all my strength I tug,
My arms wrapped tightly around Inadequacy,
But the two totems anchor the one,
And Inadequacy does not budge.
In defeat, the tangle of wires,
Seems to grow in strength.
It threatens to cover me,
Such that none will find me.

I used to call this tangle home.
The cords that restrain me now,
Were once the fingers that comforted me.
Their touch was soft upon me,
And I was wholly undisturbed,
As I subsisted on quiet seclusion.
Yes, I built this place to keep you out,
Little did I know that it would inevitably keep me in.
Each new pain encouraged me,
To seal my cocoon even tighter.
Where is my miracle?
Where is my transformation into something beautiful?
The butterfly waits patiently,
For the time when splendid wings,
Feel the cool passing breeze.
I struggle for breath.
Each failed escape tightens my prison,
Inadequate against Inadequacy.

“Help,” I say.
“Help me!” I cry.
Through the last narrow opening,
Where the sunlight is still visible.
“I am here!” I shout.
This the finality; to become invisible,
To have others pass by me without a thought,
Or worse yet, to wonder at the cocoon I’ve built,
Without seeing within.
See me, reach me, I am hurting.
Pride will soon grow to cover my mouth,
Do not allow your ears to grow dull to the sound,
Loneliness will flood my prison,
And I will die.
Sinking under dark waters.